LOSS OF FAITH

This song was released the month I graduated from high school.

It was about halfway through senior year that I stopped going to mass on Sundays. I still had to leave the house, but I’d just drive somewhere and park the car and smoke cigarettes.

I had started going to a rare late Sunday mass at St Edwards on California. It was new, built cheap, just a box. And the Laurel Heights location somehow made it seem Protestant, or even secular.

After one of these late services concluded it hardly felt like I’d been to church at all. So one Sunday, I just sat outside in the car. It didn’t feel any different than if I’d gone in. So I did the math.

In my twelve years of Catholic education the priests and nuns had the best chance imaginable to snag me for the faith, and failed.

We heard and were forced to read crappy stories about dramatic crises of faith. I never really had one. As soon as I had a choice, I just stopped going. I never really thought much about it.

All eighth graders in SF Archdiocese parochial schools had to take a standardized religion test, to gauge the effectiveness of the religious education, which for those students moving on to a public high school, would be coming to end.

At our school, the Fathers Club had awards one for the boy and one for the girl with the highest scores. There were approximately 75 boys and 75 girls.

Called the "Religion Award" these were the only awards given out at our graduation ceremony.

Of course yours truly won. So somewhere in the basement is a hand tooled Moroccan calfskin bound, gilt edged, five-tassel Maryknoll Missal.

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