FAILURE TO BONE UP
Pud returned from his annual checkup with a rant (surprise!).
“The goddamn doctor offered me Viagra!
“I told him, ‘Doctor, that ain’t my problem. Actually it’s the opposite. Since I was ten I’ve been trying to get the thing to go down, but with only limited, temporary success.’
“One of the problems of human nature is that during their most productive years men tend to think with their dicks. Supposedly, as we grow older, some of the thought process shifts to our brains. This is why it’s sort of a cliché to seek advice from older people.
“So they see the boomers approaching the transition from dick-thought to brain-thought and they find that unacceptable.
“So they put the best minds to work to develop a hard-on pill. The world is being destroyed by the ever burgeoning human population, and what do they determine we need? –more sex!
“The goddamn doctor offered me Viagra!
“I told him, ‘Doctor, that ain’t my problem. Actually it’s the opposite. Since I was ten I’ve been trying to get the thing to go down, but with only limited, temporary success.’
“One of the problems of human nature is that during their most productive years men tend to think with their dicks. Supposedly, as we grow older, some of the thought process shifts to our brains. This is why it’s sort of a cliché to seek advice from older people.
“So they see the boomers approaching the transition from dick-thought to brain-thought and they find that unacceptable.
“So they put the best minds to work to develop a hard-on pill. The world is being destroyed by the ever burgeoning human population, and what do they determine we need? –more sex!
“It’s difficult to focus on the historic Sunni-Shia rivalry when you have a four-hour erection!
“You know,” Pud concluded, “ the Puritans’ witch-burning thing--not so much wrong, just futile.”
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